I want to be loved
by GSRFAN91
Summary: Sara is in abusive relationship with Hank.... she collapse at a crime scene....... why is she so frail and pale? ...... GSR LAST CHAPTER UP, NOW COMPLETE! :D
1. Abused

I have been trying to write a fanfiction like this for some time and finally i have done it :D

Hope you enjoy it :D

Thankyou to Sara and gabriella for beta reading :D

I do not own any characters from CSI (if i did would i seriously have let Sara/Jorja leave the show) :D

**I want to be loved**

_'He hit me again not the worst beating I have had but it still caused me pain._

_I don't know the man he is now_

_When we met he was charming and caring but now he's always angry and abusive_

_I know I should leave him, but I don't want to be alone and he'll kill me if I try and leave._

_When he is in front of people he is so loving and affectionate._

_I can't leave him he's the only thing I have in my life._

_I feel like I am reliving my mom's life.'_

_"_What you doing?" Hank snarled entering their bedroom bringing Sara out of her thoughts

"Just thinking babe" Sara smiled to not give him anything to yell at her for.

Hank walked over to where Sara was now standing and place a hand on her shoulder.

Sara's whole body physically tensed up.

"Come on, come to bed with me," Hank whispered seductively.

The way Hank said this made bile rise in Sara's throat.

"Hank I can't" Sara answered pushing him gently away "I have to go to work"

"You know not to say no to me" Hank yelled with anger in his eyes.

Sara wrapped her arms around herself knowing what was coming next.

"Sara come with me now!" the anger was clearly in his voice.

"Please Hank" Sara sobbed while looking at the floor "I have to go to work, I can't be late again."

Sara looked up just in time to see Hanks fist sink into her stomach.

Sara doubled over in pain "you bitch, you do as you're told, and your mine got that!" Hank screamed grabbing hold of Sara's hair and threw her onto the bed.

They never have sex anymore.

He raped her, just like the last time.

Hank rolled off her onto his back and laughed to Sara "always our dirty little secret"

Sara jumped off the bed and headed for the bathroom, tears still falling down her cheeks.

"Sara, you know your going to be late for work again, I know you hate that" Hank laughed passing by the bathroom door.

Sara got in the shower and turned the water on the hottest it could go and scrubbed herself.

'_No matter how hard you scrub Sara you still feel him on you'_ Sara thought followed by a sob.

After scrubbing till her skin was red raw she got out of the shower and got ready for work.

_TBC_

A/N Please tell me what you think if you like it or not.. i know its a short chapter but the next one is longer :D

Please review they help me with the writing :D


	2. Hurt

Hey thanks for all the reviews

Am glad you liked the first chapter :D

This is the first story that i have posted which has got 15 reviews for one chapter in less then 24 hours :D

Which i think is really great :D

Thanks again xx

Enjoy :D

Thanks to Sara and Gabriella for beta read :D

I do not own any characters from CSI (if i did would i seriously have let Sara/Jorja leave the show) :D

**I want to be loved**

**Chapter 2**

_Its getting harder everyday to cover all these bruises, the team except Grissom of course has been worried about me wondering why I never do over time no more, how I always take a few sick days off a month and how skinny and tired I look._

_I remember nick once bought me breakfast and said I wasn't going anywhere till I had eaten every little bit._

_I know they all care for me I really do, its just I can't tell them about the hell I live in everyday._

_Hank would kill me._

_I haven't slept in over 3 days (or was that 4)_

_Hank haunts my dreams as well as my life._

_Im scared to go home after shift._

_The beatings and rapes have gotten worse._

_I don't even love hank, I love Grissom._

_If only he knew what hell I live in._

_I have to tell him but how?_

"Sara"

"Huh" Sara shook her head to get rid of her thoughts "Oh hey Griss"

"Are you okay Sara you looked miles away?" he has never saw her looking so thin and pale.

"Im fine Grissom" _Grissom please help me_ "What have I go tonight?" Sara answered with a fake smile

Grissom knew it was a fake smile but thought if she wanted to talk to him she will; he didn't want to put any pressure onto her.

"You're with me and Nick, 2 DB's out in Henderson"

"Okay, ill grab my kit and meet you outside my car in 5 minutes"

Grissom nodded and walked towards Sara's car.

_Sidle pull yourself together_ Sara thought _with her head in her hands._

A few tears fell down her cheeks as she angrily swiped them away.

_Come on Sidle don't let them see how weak you are._

Grabbing her kit she headed towards the car park where she saw Nick and Grissom in small talk waiting by her car.  
"Sorry I had to stock up my kit" Sara lied opening the driver's side door and jumping in.  
Grissom got in the passenger side and Nick got in the back seat.

The drive to the crime scene was deathly silent.

Grissom glanced at Sara a few times but she kept her gaze on the road.

Sara felt Grissom's eyes on her but didn't meet his gaze she knew she would burst into tears when she sees the concern in them blue orbs.

They arrived at the crime scene and headed over to were Brass was stood

"Hey guys" Brass started "We have 2 bodies, Gary Anderson in the attic with one gunshot wound to the temple, and Claire Anderson is in the bedroom, no gunshot wound on her though but she has been beaten pretty badly. I think it's a murder/suicide" Brass continued, "Guy beats his wife up and kills her and he pops himself"

"Thanks Brass" Nick replied while Grissom and Sara nodded their thanks.

"Right Nick you get the attic while me and Sara will get the bedroom" Grissom said heading towards the bedroom with Sara in front. _Hopefully I might be able to talk to her; hopefully she will answer anything but "im fine_"

"Ill start by taking photos of the body" Sara murmured crouching down to get a better look of the body.

_I wonder if ill die like this? Beaten to death, hell Hank has given me worse bruising then these, but who would find me Grissom?, hell he wouldn't even know I was missing_. Sara thought pulling her sleeve further down her arm covering the bruise Hank had left there few nights ago.  
Unknown to her, that Grissom was watching her.

"Sara, are you okay?" Grissom asked concern etched in his voice.

"Im fine" _I have to tell him I have to get away_

_Why can't she tell me is she scared? And why was she pulling her sleeves further down her arms? Is she hurt?_ Grissom thought

Sara stood up only to sway a little on her feet and feeling light headed.

"Sara?" was the last thing she heard before her legs buckled underneath her.

TBC

A/N-please review.

So what do you think up to yet good, bad, okay?

Let us know :D

If you would like anything seen in this story let us know :D

chapter 3 will be up soon xxx


	3. Panicking

Thankyou for all those people who has reviewed and all those who havent.

Reviews help me make the stories :D

This is the first story that i have posted what has got over 30 reviews on 2 chapters :D

Enjoy :D

Thanks to Sara and Gabriella for beta reading :D

I do not own any characters from CSI (if i did would i seriously have let Sara/Jorja leave the show) :D

**I want to be loved**

**chapter 3**

"Sara!"

Grissom saw Sara's leg buckle underneath her and in a split second he caught her before she hit the floor.

"Sara honey wake up" Grissom placed a hand on her cheek and realized she felt cold.

"NICK PHONE AN AMBULANCE NOW" Grissom yelled.

Checking for a pulse on Sara's wrist he saw the bruises.

"What the hell happened to you Sara" Grissom whispered hugging her tighter into him

"Griss what happened" Nick said in panic, entering the room.

"I don't know Nick, one minute she was looking at the body, the next she stood up and collapsed"

'_This couldn't have something to do with them bruises could it?'_ Grissom questioned himself.

"The ambulance is on its way" Nick said bringing Grissom out of his thoughts.

"Sara please wake up honey" Grissom whispered into Sara's hair just before the EMT's came running into the room.

lifting Sara up, Grissom lay her on the stretcher the EMT's had, kissing her lightly on the forehead before following Nick and the EMT's to the ambulance.

"Only one can come with her im afraid" the youngest EMT said with a sympathetic look on his face.

Nick and Grissom looked at each other before Nick spoke up "You go Griss, she needs you more"

Grissom nodded at Nick and jumped in to the ambulance, grabbed hold of Sara's hand and did something he has never done before.

He prayed.

TBC

A/N-Please review :D

If you would like anything seen in this story let us know :D

I'll be posting chapter 4 real soon as this chapter was only short :D


	4. On the road the recovery

Thankyou all again for the reviews, i really do appreciate them. :D

Thanks to Sara and Gabriella for beta reading :D

I do not own any characters from CSI (if i did would i seriously have let Sara/Jorja leave the show) :D

**I want to be loved**

**Chapter 4**

(Flashback)

"Sara could I please speak with you in my office" Grissom asked entering the evidence lab where Sara was looking over a case.

Sara looked up and raised an eyebrow in curiosity before letting him lead the way.

Entering his office Grissom waited for Sara to take a seat before closing the door and leaning against his table in front of her.

"Sara are you okay?"

Looking up with a confused look on her face, she answered "im fine Grissom"

"You was late for shift again today, care to explain why"

"Erm... my alarm didn't go off"

"Sara you have used that excuse more then 3 times this week" Grissom said softly "is everything okay at home"

Sara stayed silent looking down at her hands, after watching her for a few minutes Grissom continued, "Sara, you know you can talk to me, I am always here for you, not as a boss but as a friend"

"Griss am fine" Sara still kept her gaze on her hands "really am okay"

"If you was okay Sara" Grissom crouched down in front of her "you wouldn't be crying"

"Err...it's...err...my...hormones...all...over...the...place" Sara whispered wiping the tears that had escaped. "I have to get back to work"

With that said Sara left Grissom office, leaving behind a very confused Grissom.

(End of flashback)

_I did try and talk to her, I knew something was wrong with her, but why couldn't she have told me? I could tell she was lying she never met my gaze the whole entire time. She has been getting distant lately from everyone on the team. I have to find out what's wrong with her, and how she got those bruises._

"Gil"

"Huh" Grissom looked up to see Catherine standing over him

"How long have you been waiting her for?" Catherine asked sitting down next to Grissom in the hospital waiting room.

"Around 2 hours" Grissom answered shaking his head to get rid of his thoughts

"How is she? do you know?"

Grissom looked up at Catherine and saw the fear reflecting from her eyes.

"I don't know Catherine, she was fine one minute and the next…but lately she hasn't been herself..."

"Are you family of Ms Sara Sidle?" the doctor asked interrupting Grissom.

"Yes" Grissom and Catherine lied in union

"Hello I am Doctor Lewis, Ms Sidle is in her own room now, she has been treated for dehydration, lack of nutrients and lack of sleep, she has also got intense bruising over her mid section and arms and a broken rib, and she needs her rest."

"Can we see her?" Catherine asked after looking at Grissom and realizing he was still processing the information.

_Broken ribs? Bruising how she got them_

"Yes, she's asleep now, but only one of you can go and see her at a time, as I said she needs her rest"

Before Grissom could say anything Catherine turned round and said "You go Gil, I'll take over your crime scene"

Heading towards Sara's room Grissom turned round to Catherine "Thank you" he murmured

Catherine nodded and Grissom turned to enter Sara's room.

The sight he saw melted his heart Sara looked so peaceful.

He looked over her and realized with the hospital gown on you can see the bruises what covered most of her arms and he was guessing they was more under the gown.

Taking a seat next to Sara, Grissom again took her hand in his and started to think.

_Who hurt you Sara, I don't recall her being hurt on the job, besides she's never in work enough to get hurt, she doesn't do overtime anymore, goes as soon as shift ends, she's been hurt outside of the lab and I bet I know who did it H…_

"Hank" Sara said her whole body tensed up at the sight if him

Grissom looked up at Sara shocked to see her awake but more shocked to see the fear in her eyes, looking up to see what Sara was looking at he saw Hank leaning against the door frame looking very pissed off.

TBC

A/N-Please review :D

oOoOoOo cliff hanger, sorry guys, had to do it :D

Thanks for reading :D

Next chapter will be up soon :)

xx


	5. Finding out

Thankyou so much for reviews.

This is the first fanfiction i have done which has got over 30 reviews :D thanks again

Im glad you are enjoying this story :D

Thanks to Sara and Gabriella for beta-reading :D

-I do not own any characters from CSI (if i did would i seriously have let Sara/Jorja leave the show) :D

**_I want to be loved_**

**_Chapter 5_**

"What the fuck are you doing here" Hank snarled

Grissom looked up at Sara, ignoring Hanks question and saw fear in her eyes.

"Sara has he been hurting you?" Grissom whispered so only Sara could hear. "I need to know, so I can sort this out"

"Are you listening to me you fucking bastard!" Hank yelled

_I already know, just say it so I can kill the son of a bitch_. Grissom thought.

Sara looked at Hank, slowly nodded her head before bursting into tears.

Seeing her cry like this made Grissom heart tighten.

Flipping his phone up, Grissom hit speed dial,

"Brass"

"We need you at the hospital"

"Gil, why what's happened, is Sara okay?"

"No she's not, I need you to get Hank out of here, he's been hurting Sara"

"Okay am on my way, Gil don't do anything you'll regret"

"Oh I won't regret it"

Grissom flipped his phone down just in time to see Hank plunge at Sara.

"You fucking slut" Hank spat

Without thinking Grissom grabbed hold of Hank before he had a chance to hit Sara and threw him against the wall.

"I'm...sorry...Hank..," Sara sobbed what you sorry for, hes finally getting done for what he did to you.

"I always knew you two had a thing going on," Hank spat ignoring Sara's cries. "Well you can have the little slut"

Grissom turned around and saw Sara sobbing with her face in her hands.

_How dare you do this to my Sara!_

"You son of a bitch" Grissom plunged his fist into Hanks stomach over and over again until he slid down the wall and doubled over in pain.

"You are never going to hurt Sara again, you bastard!" Grissom yelled hitting him again. "How dare you treat her like that!"

"Gil" Brass came running into the room with two police officers in tow. "That's enough"

"Your going to hell" Grissom spat kicking Hank one last time causing Hank to splutter out blood.

"Gil" brass grabbed hold of Grissom and pulled him away "Stop, we've got him, go speak to Sara she needs you."

Grissom looked over at Sara and saw her still crying with her hands covering her face.

Grissom waited for Brass to leave so he could calm down before heading over to Sara.

"Sara can we talk" Gil asked softly taking the seat he had occupied minutes before and taking hold of her hand.

_Im not talking_ Sara thought _how dare he pretend he cares!_

"No we can not talk Grissom" Sara yanked her hand from his grip." Stop acting like you care, I don't want your sympathy!"

"Sara …please?" Grissom was shocked at Sara's outburst.

"Leave me alone Griss! Your the one who told me to get a life remember!" Sara yelled making

Grissom jump out of his seat. He has never saw her this angry before, but why?

"Okay Sara" Grissom whispered "I'll go but just to let you know I do care more then you think, I will come back later on" with that said he left Sara and headed home for a much needed shower.

_Sara what have you done! And what did he mean he cared more than I think? Oh god, what has hank turned me into? I have just blown of the man I have ever really loved. Hell he has just nearly killed that bastard!_

Sara whole body shook with her sobs before exhausting herself, she fell asleep awaiting the nightmares what will surely come.

TBC

A/N-sorry about the little bit of angst ...

but dont worry plenty of GSR in the next chapter :D

like it? tell me in a review :D

next chapter will be up soon :D

if you would like anything to be seen in this story let me know :D

_xx_


	6. Reliving the memories

Thankyou all for the reviews :D

And thankyou all for reading :D

Thanks to Sara and Gabriella for beta reading :D

-I do not own any characters from CSI (if i did would i seriously have let Sara/Jorja leave the show) :D

**I want to be loved.**

**Chapter 6**

Grissom was in his office at his townhouse.

He was hoping he could get some paperwork done before heading back to see Sara.

"Why can I never tell her how I feel?" Grissom said out loud to himself

After a few moments of thinking, Grissom started to write Sara a letter and promised himself he will give it to her tonight.

_Now she will know that I am not here for her just because of what happened with Hank._

Sara was at up in bed talking to her visitors: Nick, Warrick, Catherine and Greg.

They all had chipped in to buy her a big bouquet of flowers, and a big get well soon card that warmed her heart to know her friends care for her.

"Hey guys, sorry but visiting hours are over, Sara needs her rest" the nurse said entering the room

"Okay, Sara well see you soon okay" Warrick said giving Sara a gentle hug.

Sara flinched and it didn't go unnoticed by Warrick.

"Im sorry Sar" Warrick whispered with tears in his eyes

"Don't be sorry Warrick, come here" Sara hugged him followed by Catherine and Greg, and a kiss on the cheek of Nick.

"See you soon guys" Sara smiled

Once the team had left the nurse which her nametag said Emma came to her side,

"Mr. Grissom asked me to give you this" handing over a sealed envelope.

Sara thanked the nurse.

_Why has he wrote me a letter, I can't open this what if it says there's still no us? But what if it says he wants to give a chance with us, _  
_well you won't know till you open it._

Sara sighed before opening the letter.

_Sara my dear,_

_I am sorry if I hurt you, _  
_as I said I do care for you more than you think._  
_I find it hard to express my feelings for you, _  
_I don't know why._

_When I saw you yesterday, and saw how much pain you have been through, I had to use up all my strength not to hug you._  
_When I found out that you and hank had a relationship, _  
_I realized I was too late,_

_So I took a step back and watched you disappear into yourself._  
_I knew something was wrong, _  
_you have become a lot thinner, and the fear and sadness in your eyes tore through my heart like a knife._

_I know I have hurt you in the past and I know I don't deserve you._  
_You didn't deserve what Hank did to you and if I could turn back the hands of time I would._  
_To be honest I have never been a believer in God,_

_But when I was with you in the ambulance that day I prayed._  
_I was scared of losing you Sara._  
_I know I shouldn't have lost my temper with Hank in front of you, but he deserved all what he got._  
_I wasn't even afraid of losing my job Sara; I just wanted him to pay for what he has done to you._

_I guess what I am trying to say is I love you, _  
_I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you._  
_I hope I am not to late._

_All my love_

_Gil._

Tears were falling down Sara's cheek now,

Not of sadness but of happiness.

"Im sorry I made you cry"

Sara's head shot up to see Grissom leaning against the doorframe.

"I love you too Gil" Sara smiled holding her hand out for him to take.

Grissom happily obliged, smiling up at her.

After a few moments of comfortable silence Grissom spoke up

"The nurse said you'd be able to go home this afternoon"

"I don't want to go home Gil" Sara turned her gaze away from those blue orbs and looked at their entwined hands.

"Come home with me"

Sara looked up into Grissoms eyes and was shocked to see what she saw; she saw fear, love, and concern.

"Thank you" Sara gave Grissom one of her Sara smiles what warmed his heart.

"Sara" Grissom spoke after a few minutes of intense eye gazing "we need a statement of you"

Grissom felt very nervous, he didn't want Sara to relive the memories but knew she had to.

"Okay" Sara sighed turning away from Grissom.

She didn't want to look at him while telling him the hell she has lived in for the last 6 month.

"I remember the first time we met, we met over a decomp in the desert, he was so charming, and the next time we met was in the lab were I smelled of decomp but he didn't care he still asked me to go on a date with him.

Grissom looked at Sara and realized she could see the memories being played out in her mind.  
He got up of his seat, sat on the bed and put an arm around her shoulder she flinched,

"Im never going to hurt you honey' Grissom whispered making Sara relax into him

"I remember the day he lost his job" Sara continued leaning into Grissoms chest.

"He had gone straight to the pub and came home when he couldn't even remember his name" Sara sighed fresh tears making their way down her cheeks

"That was the first time he had hit me, but I didn't blame him, I blamed the alcohol.'

'Just like my mother did with my father"

Grissom stayed silent, squeezing her tighter occasionally to let her know he's listening.

"He never told me why he lost his job, he did apologize and I forgave him. But then the beatings got worst, and instead of having sex he just raped me. He was always drinking, and the arguments was getting worse and I was so scared,

Sara paused for a moment to calm her crying down; the warmth of Grissoms chest was comforting her.

"I tried to leave, I really did, but he found out that I was planning to leave him and he gave me the worst beating I had ever received.

'He said if I ever tried to leave he'd kill me, he scared the hell out of me"

Sara sobs got louder and Sara buried her face into Grissoms chest.

"Its okay honey" Grissom whispered into her hair, tightening his grip around her waist. 'Your safe now'

"I really did want to tell you" Sara looked up at Grissom and saw fresh tears falling down his face.

"I was scared Gil and I didn't want you to get hurt"

"Honey, I promise you no one is ever going to hurt you again" Sara wiped away the tear that had escaped on Grissoms cheek.

Sara wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head in the crook of his neck

"Im so tired" Sara yawned

"Honey get some sleep, you'll be home soon"

"Please don't leave me" the look in Sara's eyes scared Grissom. He has never seen her look so vulnerable.

"Im not leaving you honey, never" Grissom lay Sara down and lay down next to her.  
Just before falling asleep Sara felt Grissom place a soft kiss in her hair, and for the first time in her life she felt safe_._

**_TBC_**

A/N- please review and tell me what you think, im kinda stuck to where to take this story :S

Love it? hate it? tell me in a review :D

You know i couldnt have Sara be angry at Grissom more then a chapter :D

God they perfect together :D

xxx


	7. Welcome home

Thankyou all for the reviews and ideas :D

I usually update everyday but i havent been very well :(

Anyway heres chapter 7 :D

Enjoy.

**I want to be loved **

**Chapter 7**

"Welcome home honey" Grissom smiled leading Sara into his living room

_It looks so clean, and almost lonely_, Sara thought causing her to get Goosebumps.

"Shall I give you a tour?" Grissom asked placing his hand at the small of her back

"Okay" Sara smiled letting him guide her into the hallway.

"Here's the study" Grissom opened the first door waiting for Sara to enter

His study looked a lot like his office at the lab

There was bookcase's covering 3 walls full of books ranging from shake sphere to forensic journals.

There was also jars of what looked to be of leaches to Sara, but she couldn't tell with the poor lighting.

At the far end of the study was a large oak desk facing towards the window. Sara guessed there must have been 6 month worth of paperwork on the desk from looking at how high the stacks of paper went.

"Shall we carry on?" Grissom asked exiting the study and back into the hallway.

_I can not believe I am actually in Gil's house_ Sara smiled to herself

"Here's the 1st bathroom" Grissom pointed opened the door opposite his study and stepped back for covering to have a look.

Sara poked her head in the bathroom, it was painted in a turquoise shade, with bath sheets and blinds to match the paint.

"1st bathroom?" Sara enquired

"There is an ensuite bathroom in my room" Grissom smiled at her confuse look "also has a bath to die for, come on"

Grissom ushered Sara to the next door, "Here's the guestroom"

Again Sara poked her head around the door.

The guest bedroom was maroon, maroon paint on the walls as well as maroon carpet, curtains and bed sheet.

There was an oak wardrobe and a chest of drawers on one side of the room while on the other side was a big double bed

_I wonder if he'll expect me to sleep in here tonight?_ Sara thought

_Would she want to stay in her tonight on with me?_ Grissom thought

"Come on ill sure you the master bedroom" bringing Sara out of her thoughts Grissom headed for the last door at the end of the hallway looking over his shoulder to see if Sara was following.

Entering his bedroom Grissom heard a gasp behind him

Looking around he saw Sara covering her mouth, her eyes as wide as saucers.

"What?" he asked in amusement

"I…erm….just…wouldn't…have expected. Your bedroom. To be …like this"

"Why what did you think it would look like?" Grissom questioned

"Well err.. More bugs….and maybe white walls…I don't know Grissom" Sara grinned

Grissom playfully rolled his eyes and gave her a gentle smile.

Grissoms bedroom was painted midnight blue, his curtains, carpet and bed sheet was in the same shade.

The bed was a huge king size poster bed

"Looks comfy" Sara whispered

"Oh it is"Grissom winked.

After a few moments of intense eye gazing Grissom spoke up

"Would you like to go pick some stuff up from your apartment?"

Saras body froze, just the thought of going back into that apartment sent shivers down her spine, and Grissom saw this

"Honey I could go get them for you.." Grissom said softly placing a hand on Saras shoulder

"B..u…t.tt.t"

"Hanks not going to be there honey, he's downtown"

Sara stayed silent keeping her gaze on the floor.

"I tell you what, how about I go get your stuff and you can have a sleep, your bound to be exhausted"

The thought of sleep welcomed Sara.

"Thank you Griss"

"No worries, I wont be gone more then 30 minutes you got a key?" Grissom asked gently squeezing her shoulder.

"There is a spare key under the mat outside the door" Sara smiled a small smile

"Okay …I promise ill be back as fast as I can" Grissom headed to the door before turning around" get some sleep okay"

"Okay" was all Sara could say as the thought of being alone scared the hell out of her.

Sara heard the front door shut before realizing Grissom had already gone.

Laying herself on Grissom bed noting to herself that it was more comfier then it looks.

Without thinking of any of the days events Sara had fell into a deep slumber.

TBC

A/N- please review

i will post chapter 8 shortly as this is only a short chapter

xx :D


	8. I'll stand by you

thankyou for reviews :D

Thanks to Sara and Gabriella for beta read :D

I do not own any characters from CSI (if i did would i seriously have let Sara/Jorja leave the show) :D

**i want to be loved**

**chapter 8**

Grissom was driving the short distance back to his townhouse from Sara's apartment.

There wasn't a lot of stuff of Sara's in her apartment most of its was Hanks, so Grissom got Sara a few set of clothes and her toothbrush, thinking if she needs anything else he could come back again

Since Grissom had arrived at Saras apartment he had become more angry, it didn't even look like Sara lived there most of the clothes was Hanks and the place felt so dark. Grissom didn't know if it was just him thinking about what had happened there.

"T_hat son of a bitch, how could he do this to Sara! As if she hasn't had enough shit in her life up to yet, God how blind could I be am a investigator for Christ sake!"_

Grissom turned the radio on to get rid of his anger.

A soft tune blared out and Grissom had to listen to the lyrics.

_Oh, why you look so sad?  
Tears are in your eyes  
Come on and come to me now  
Dont be ashamed to cry  
Let me see you through  
cause Ive seen the dark side too  
When the night falls on you  
You dont know what to do  
Nothing you confess  
Could make me love you less_  
_And dont know which path to choose  
Let me come along  
cause even if youre wrong_  
_Ill stand by you  
Ill stand by you  
Wont let nobody hurt you_

_Ill stand by you  
Ill stand by you  
Wont let nobody hurt you  
Ill stand by you_

_So if youre mad, get mad  
Dont hold it all inside  
Come on and talk to me now  
Hey, what you got to hide?  
I get angry too  
Well Im a lot like you  
When youre standing at the crossroads_

_Ill stand by you  
Ill stand by you  
Wont let nobody hurt you  
Ill stand by you  
Take me in, into your darkest hour  
And Ill never desert you  
Ill stand by you_

_And when...  
When the night falls on you, baby  
Youre feeling all alone  
You wont be on your own_

_Ill stand by you  
Take me in, into your darkest hour  
And Ill never desert you  
Ill stand by you  
Ill stand by you  
Wont let nobody hurt you  
Ill stand by you  
Wont let nobody hurt you_

As the song ended Grissom had arrived back at his townhouse.

He could feel his eyes filling up with tears but he blinked them away.

Exiting his SUV all he could think about was how that song implicated his life at that very moment.

Entering his townhouse Grissom could hear muffled cries coming from his bedroom.

_I knew this would happen but i cant blame her like_. Grissom thought before running to his bedroom

He paused in the doorway, Sara was screaming and sobbing whilst curled into a tightball.

Grissom made his way over to the side of the bed

"Shhh honey, come on wake up its just a dream honey" Grissom took her in his arms

"G.I.l.?" Sara stirred opening her eyes

_Damn me and my stupid nightmares_

"Its okay Sara, it was just a bad dream" Grissom whispered tightening his grip on her and letting her cry into his chest

"It felt so real gil…" Sara sobbed.

"Its okay honey come on, ill lie down with you"

"Thank you"

Grissom let go off Sara ,so she could lie down before getting in at the side of her and pulling the blanket over them both.

"You want to talk about it Hun?" Grissom whispered

"No…I just want you to hold me"

"I can do that" Grissom wrapped his arms around Sara and placing his head on her shoulder.

It seemed like hours before Sara had finally stopped crying.

"Your safe now honey" was the last thing Sara heard before falling into a deep sleep.

TBC

A/N- The song is Stand by you-The pretenders

I was listening to it while i was writing this chapter, and i just had to ad it in.

It fits dont you think?

Anyways please review :D

xxx


	9. Not over yet

Thankyou for reviews :D

Thankyou to csijunkie no1 1 for her help :D

I do not own any characters from CSI (if i did would i seriously have let Sara/Jorja leave the show) :D

**I want to be loved**

**Chapter 9**

"What do you mean he's out!" Grissom yelled into his cell while he was pacing around his living room.

"I don't know how Gil but all I know is that Hank is real close to Ecklie, and Ecklie pulled a few strings to get him released"

"Brass listen to me get Hank back in a cell I don't care how just do!"

"Ill try Gil just watch your backs okay"

"Will do Brass, I have to go I think she's awake"

Grissom flipped his phone down and turned towards his bedroom, only to see a shaking Sara stood in the hallway.

"He's out isn't he" Sara whispered

"Honey…"

"Just answer the damn question Gil"

"Yes im afraid so, from the information Brass has just given me Hank is real close to Ecklie, so Ecklie pulled a few strings to get him released"

"Oh…God" Sara fell to the floor and brought her knees to her chest.

"Honey he's not going to get you, im not going to let him hurt you again" Grissom sat next to Sara and wrapped an arm around her shaking frame.

"You…don't know… what he…is capable…off" Sara sobbed

"Your safe with me sweetheart, come on ill take you to the lab where the guys will watch you while I have a word with Ecklie"

"O..okay"

"You go get a shower if you like,while I cook us some breakfast, pancakes sound good?"

"Yeah thanks"

Grissom got himself up of the hard wood flooring and pulled Sara up with him.

"Go on ill have the breakfast ready in 20 minutes"

Sara gave Grissom a small smile before heading in to the bathroom

As much as it makes Grissom happy to see Sara smile at last it makes him sad, it doesn't hold the same light as it use to.

_Would he be able to keep me safe?_

_God Hank could kill someone with those hands of his_

_I hope Gil not going to cause any trouble with Ecklie_

Sara sighed to herself before stripping and entering the shower.

--

_I am going to kill Ecklie, i can not believe he let Hank go, i dont care if i get fired i am going to sort this out once and for all._

Grissom sighed before turning the radio on and start making breakfast.

--

Sara was suprised of how quick she had a shower.

_Wow only 10 minutes a new record._ Sara smiled to herself before heading down the hallway to the kitchen.

Stopping at the kitchen doorway she heard Grissom singing,

_So,if your mad get mad,_

_Dont hold it all inside_

_Come on and talk to me now_

_Hey, what you got to hide_

_I get angry too_

_Well im a lot like you_

_When you're standing at the crossroads_

_But dont know, which path to choose_

_Let me come along,_

_'Cause even if your wrong_

_Ill stand by you_

_Wont let nobody hurt you_

_Ill stand by you_

_Take me into your darkest hour_

_And ill never desert you_

_Ill stand by you..._

_Wow he is pretty good, is he singing about me? if so i think id be the happiest woman alive despite all thats happened._

"I didnt know you could sing" Sara smiled entering the kitchen.

"Oh..er..yeah" Grissom stuttered,Sara grinned noticing Grissoms neck and cheeks had turned a crimson red.

"Dont stop on my account," Sara smiled helping Grissom place the plates onto the table.

After a few moments of silent chores Grissom looked into Saras eyes and started to sing,

_And when,_

_When the night falls on you baby_

_Youre feeling all alone,_

_You wont be on your own_

Sara smiled her 100 watt smile knowing now that Grissom was indeed singing about her, to her.

"Come on lets eat, you need to eat" Grissom spoke over his shoulder while getting the pancakes from the kitchen.

_Damn, hes right when was the last time i ate, Christ i cant even remember._

"Stop thinking how long you have ate for and get these down you" Grissom smiled bringing Sara out of her thoughts.

_Damn how does he do that._

Sara smiled to herself before tucking into her pancakes.

They ate in comfortable silence.

After eating and they cleared the table Grissom spoke up "Hun are you ready to go?"

"Uh huh"

"Come on then you can sit with the guys, they have been asking about you."

"Okay" Sara mood lightned up a bit with the thought of seeing the guys.

Grabbing her coat Sara followed Grissom to his Tahoe.

"Thankyou for everything Gil" Sara said putting her seat belt on.

"You know i dont mind looking after you" Grissom spoke taking Saras hand in his.

Sara smiled and gave Grissom hand a gentle squeeze before Grissom set off on the short journey to the crime lab.

Turning on the radio a soft ballad blared out,

_How do I get through one night without you  
If I had to live without you  
What kind of life would that be  
Oh I, I need you in my arms  
Need you to hold  
You're my world, my heart, my soul_

If you ever leave  
Baby you would take away everything good in my life  
And tell me now

Sara started to sing along without realizing it.

_How do I live without you  
I want to know  
How do I breathe without you  
If you ever go  
How do I ever, ever survive  
How do I  
How do I  
Oh, how do I live_  
_How do I  
How do I  
Oh, how do I live_

"You know you sing pretty well darling" Grissom smiled giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

_Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky  
There would be no love in my life  
There'd be no world left for me  
And I, oh Baby, I don't know what I would do  
I'd be lost if I lost you  
If you ever leave  
Baby you would take away everything real in my life  
And tell me now_

Smiling, Sara turned to face Grissom even though he was concentrating on the road she carried on to sing but this time she was singing directly to him.

_How do I live without you  
I want to know  
How do I breathe without you  
If you ever go  
How do I ever, ever survive_

Please tell me baby  
How do I go on

_If you ever leave  
Baby you would take away everything  
Need you with me  
Baby don't you know that you're everything good in my life  
And tell me now_

_How do I live without you  
I want to know  
How do I breathe without you  
If you ever go  
How do I ever, ever survive  
How do I  
How do I  
Oh, how do I live_

_how do I live without you  
how do I live without you baby  
how do I live..._

After the song had finished Grissom arrived at the crime lab and before leaving his car he turned to Sara and whispered"I dont want to know how i would live without you"

Sara felt tears swimming in her eyes H_e can be so sweet._

Grissom leaned in and placed his lips on hers,

_Is he kissing me? damn his lips are so soft._

After a moment of her realizing what he was doing Sara put all she had into their first kiss.

Grissom didnt know if it was the lack of oxygen or the fact that Saras soft lips was on his that was causing him to see stars.

Pulling back Grissom leaned his head against Saras.

"I love you"

"I love you too" Sara said breathlessly

When the breathing got back to normal Grissom spoke up "Come on we better get inside"

Both of them exited the SUV and entered the crime lab.

--

"Hey guys" Grissom said entering the breakroom where Nick and Warrick was playing the latest game on PS3

"Sara!" Warrick and Nick jumped of their seats and ran over to where Sara was stood,

"How are you girl" warrick smiled hugging her tightly.

"Im okay" Sara smiled into Warricks chest.

_I am so glad i have friends like these._

_"G_uys i need you to watch Sara while i have a word with Ecklie."

"Okay boss" Nick replied giving Sara a gentle hug.

"I dont want her left on her own, not even for a second you hear me."

"Got it boss,we heard what happend with Ecklie" Warrick said handing Sara a cup of coffee.

"Yeah well im going to sort it out, i better go ill see you in a bit" Grissom said sqeezing Saras shoulder before leaving the breakroom and heading toward Ecklies office.

TBC

A/N song is How do i live-leanne rimes

I was listening to it, and wasnt sure if to put it in this chapter, but i think it suits :D

Anyways please review :D

xxx


	10. He deserved it

Thankyou all for reviews :D

Nearly 100 reviews yeah :D

Im so glad you enjoy it :D

Please read and review :D

**I want to be loved**

**Chapter 10**

"Come in" Ecklie yelled from where he was seated behind his desk, looking through a file."Ah Gil" Ecklie looked up from the file and gave Grissom a smug look "I've been expecting you"

"Why the hell did you release Hank, after what he had done to Sara?" _keeping my anger in check has to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do._

"He's on bail Gil, and you couldn't keep him locked up till the trial"

"Yes I could he is a threat to Sara….."

"More like you're a threat to Hank" Ecklie spat interrupting Grissom.

"Whats that suppose to mean?" Grissom said angrily.

"Well we all know how you feel about Sara, and of course I know about the little incident between you and Hank at the hospital"

"That was self defence" Grissom argued.

"Am sure it was"

"Ecklie, I want you to get Hank and put his arse back in jail, I don't care how close you are to him, he is a threat to Sara and no doubt, he will be looking for revenge"

"I am not putting Hank in a cell, he is my closest friend and I will do anything to prove his innocence!"

"WHAT!" Grissom yelled "He is not innocence for Christ's sake, he hit Sara!"

"Maybe she deserved it"

"How can you say that? You son of a bitch, no one deserves to be in the hands of a women beater!"

"Hanks not a women beater, how do you know Sara isn't lying huh?"

After hearing all the commotion in Ecklies office Catherine ran in just in time to see Grissom punch Ecklie.

"Fuck you, how dare you call Sara a liar!" Grissom yelled ready to hit Ecklie again.

"Gil!" Catherine shouted pulling Grissom back from Ecklie.

"Gil, your suspended for 2 weeks!, your going to pay for that!" Ecklie yelled whilst covering his nose which was now bleeding.

"Fuck you" Grissom screamed before Catherine pulled him out of Ecklies office and leaded him to his office.

"What the hell was all that about" Catherine asked entering Grissoms office.

"Nothing"

"Yeah, sure looked like nothing!" Catherine said angrily.

"You know what happened to Sara..?"

"Yeah Brass informed us, he also informed us about Hank, is that what this is about?" Catherine said softly" that Ecklie released Hank"

"Partly, Ecklie was calling Sara a liar and how she, she maybe deserved what Hank did to her"

Catherine stayed silent, she had nothing to say to this.

"Am just scared for her Catherine" Grissom sighed" when I told her Hank had been released, you should have seen the fear in her eyes"

"Hey Gil, she's safe with you, okay so why don't you take her home"

"Thank you Catherine, are you going to be okay for the next 2 weeks?"

"Yeah, you deserve a vacation, but I don't think you went the right way about it"

Grissom gave a small smile before heading to the door.

"Gil"

"Yeah" Grissom turned round to face Catherine.

"You better put some ice on your hand" Gil looked at his hand to see it swollen and already bruising.

"Thanks Catherine, phone me if you need me"

"Will do see ya later"

With that Gil left his office to go to get Sara from the break room.

--

Grissom walked into the break room and the sight he saw warmed his heart.

Sara was sat inbetween Nick and Warrick on the couch playing a racing game, and by the way Warrick and Nick was moaning Sara was winning.

"Having fun?" Grissom smiled getting their attention.

"Damn Sara, I thought you didnt play games?" Warrick grinned

"I dont"

"Well how did you win 3 games in a row" Nick chirpped in.

"Beginners luck" Sara grinned getting of the couch and walking over to where Grissom was stood.

"How did things go with Ecklie?" Sara said softly.

"Oh okay, I suppose" Grissom shugged.

"What happened to your hand?" sara asked noticing his bruised knuckles.

"Ill tell you on the way home, are you ready?"

"Yeah, okay" Sara grabbed her coat and hugged Nick and Warrick.

"Thanks guys, I havent had so much fun in ages"

"Anytime, see you soon" Warrick smiled.

"Come on Nicky 10 bucks i beat your arse"

"Your on" Nick laughed.

Sara laughed at the guys before leaving the break room and following Grissom to his Tahoe.

--

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Sara asked after Grissom pulled out of the LVPD car park.

keeping his gaze on the road he spoke "Ecklie was saying all sorts of things in there and I, I lost my temper"

"Gil" Sara said, gently placing a hand on top pf his bruised one." What sort of things?"

"He tried calling you a liar hun" Grissom sighed " and how maybe you deserved what you got, so I, I punched him"

"You did what!" Sara said raising her voice.

"Gil, you could have lost your job" D_id he do this for me?_

"Sweetheart, I wasnt going to stand there whilst Ecklie was talking about you like that" Grissom risked a glance at Sara before continuing " besides I needed a vaation."

"You got suspended!"

"2 weeks, if I knew i would only get that, I would have hit that son of a bitch a long time ago"

Sara smiled at the thought of Grissom hitting Ecklie.

B_ut he could have lost his job because of me._

_Ecklie and Hank must be real close if Ecklie stood up for him like that..._

_"H_oney, we are home" Grissom said bringing Sara out of her thoughts.

Sara gave Grissom a small smile before exiting the Tahoe and heading to the apartment.

--

"You want some ice for your hand?" Sara asked standing in Grissom's kitchen.

"Honey, ill get it"

"Gil, you have helped me so much over the past couple of days, the least I could do is get you some ice"

"Alright honey" Grissom smiled taking a seat on his couch.

_How can she be so strong? God shes so beautiful, i am so happy for her being with me, being in my life..._

_"_OW!" Grissom got brought out of his thoughts with a shooting pain in his hand.

"Sorry" Sara whispered taking a seat next to Grissom, still placing the ice on his swollen knuckles.

"You must have hit him hard"

"He deserved it" Grissom winced, before he had realized Sara was now planting soft kisses over his knuckles.

"Feel better?"

"Much better" Grissom smiled before replacing his hand with his lips.

The kiss was full of passion which escalated into a more heated one.

Rising of the couch Sara pulled Grissom up and led him to his bedroom, her lips never leaving his.

Pulling back slightly Grissom lokked deep in to Sara eyes, he saw passion, desire and more importantly love.

"Are you sure honey,i mean after all what you have been..."

Grissom was cut of with Saras finger on his lips.

"I just want to feel loved by you"

Grissom smiled a gentle smile and lifted her onto the bed.

Before falling into a deep sleep in each others arms, Grissom made love to her, the way it should be.

TBC

A/N Sooo what you think...?

Please review :D i love reviews :D

Hopefully i should be posting chapter 11 tomorrow night :D

xxx


	11. Seeking revenge

Thankyou for everyone who has reviewed this story :D

And thankyou for reading it am so glad you all like it :D

please read and review :D

**I want to be loved**

**Chapter 11**

"Grissom wake up please" Sara whispered shaking grissom for the 3rd time. _please wake up Gil am scared please._

"huh, honey, you okay?"

"Shhh" Sara placed a finger on Grissoms lips.

Grissom would have found this funny if it wasn't for the fear in her eyes.

"There's someone in the house Gil"

Grissom sat up and tried to listen for any signs of disturbance.

That's when he heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

"Sara, grab you gun" Grissom whispered knowing Sara kept her gun beside her.

Sara reached over to the beside cabinet and got her gun just in time for the bedroom door to be busted open.

"Well.. Well.. Well.. What do we have here?"

"Hank…w..what..are you ..doing here?" _oh my God, why is he here,I she going to hurt me or even Gil oh no._

"Sara you didn't expect me to not get revenge did you?" Hank spat raising his hand to show Sara what he had.

"y..o..u.. don't ..own.. A .. gun. Hank"

Once Grissom saw the gun he pulled Sara closer to him._ Please dont hurt, Sara hurt me instead._

"Ecklie's a good friend of mine, so he gave me the gun for protection"

"hank you don't want to do this, put the gun down" grissom said as calm as he could. I am going to kill Ecklie, how stupid can he be!

"Shut the fuck up" Hank yelled raising his gun to Grissoms chest."This is between me and that bitch" Grissom heard Sara inhale deeply and instantly took hold of her free hand and squeezed it.

"Hank put the gun down, or ill shoot you!" Sara said anger and fear evident in her voice.

"Well well well the slut has toughened up, you use to be tough till I kicked ten shits out of you" Hank laughed " then you would be begging me to stop"

"Hank please put the gun down, and then we can talk" Sara tried to hold her tears back.

"I don't want to fucking talk!"

Grissom didn't know what to do if her says anything he risks getting hurt or even worse Sara hurt, if her tries to tackle hank there is also a chance either of them would get hurt.

Sensing Grissoms thoughts, Sara whispered "Don't do anything Gil, ill sort it, please don't do anything"

"I wont I promise"

"Is Gilly boy trying to be a hero" hank laughed pointing the gun at Grissom._ Gilly boy God he must be drunk or something._

"Hank that is enough" Sara yelled _please don't hurt gil, he's my life please._

"Aw does the slut want some attention"

"Hank just put the gun down" Sara said pointing her gun to his chest. _Please dont make me shoot you._

"Don't fucking tell me what to do, I came here to kill you, you fucking slag!"

Before Grissom realized what Hank had said a gunshot rang through the bedroom.

_TBC_

A/N- sooooo... you like it or hate it?

All mistakes are mine.

Sorry its short and for the cliffhanger, but hey ill be updating as soon as i can :D

You know that blue button down at the left hand side of the screen... press it and see what it does :D :P

xxx


	12. History replaying itself

Thankyou so much for the reviews :D

I cant believe how much people like this story :D

I know i usually post a chapter daily, but i am having problems writing these next couple of chapters so bare with me :D

Am sorry about leaving you all on a cliff hanger but hey thats the fun part :D

Thankyou to Louise (Csijunkie 1 1) for all her help :D

Read and review :D

**I want to be loved**

**Chapter 12**

The sound of the body dropped to the floor.

"Honey, are you okay?" Grissom asked moving, so that he was positioned in front of Sara, so she couldn't see Hanks body.

"Is he dead?" Sara asked ignoring Grissoms question.

Grissom went over to Hanks body and checked for a pulse "He's dead" Grissom whispered before placing a towel from his hamper, over Hanks face so Sara didn't have to see him.

"I.i.i.Killed.Him" Saras body shook with sobs.

"Honey" Grissom tilted Saras chin so he could look in her chocolate brown eyes. "It was self defence, if you didn't kill him, he would have hurt you"

"Its true" Sara murmured after a few minutes of silence.

"What's true?" Grissom asked in confusion.

"There is a murder gene" and with that said Sara dropped her gun and walked over to the chair on the other side of the bedroom and sat down bringing her knees to her chest.

_A murder gene?_

(Flashback)

Sara: Do you think there's a murder gene?

Grissom: I don't believe genes are a predictor of violent behaviour.

Sara: You wouldn't know that in my house, the yelling's, the fights, the trips to the hospital, I thought that was the way everybody lived… But when my mother. Killed my father… I knew that it wasn't.

(End flashback)

_Oh no, she's not thinking she is like her mother is she…?_

"LVPD"

Grissom got brought out of his thoughts by his front door crashing down.

"Gil, Sara!" Brass yelled.

"In the bedroom" Grissom shouted, glancing at Sara and noticed the fear in her eyes.

Seconds later Brass entered the bedroom with two police officers in tow.

"What the hell happened here?" Brass asked lifting the towel of hanks face and looking at him.

"I.i.Killed…him" Sara sobbed from the other side of the room.

"Sara" Grissom said concern etched in his voice, making his way to Sara, he knelt down in front of her and took hold of one of her hands in both of his.

"Gil, would you like to tell me what happened here, before I have to call dayshift" Brass said still shocked at the sight before him.

"Dayshift?" Grissom questioned.

"Dayshift will have to have this case, as you are the night shift supervisor, you nor your team can work on this case"

"Oh okay" Grissom sighed "Sara woke me up saying she thinks someone was in the house, I told her to grab her gun after a heard footsteps coming down the hallway, just as Sara grabbed her gun Hank barged in to here" Grissom could see it all replaying in his mind" Hank had a gun." Grissom had just realized what Hank had told them.

"Hank said Ecklie gave him the gun"

"What! Ecklie gave Hank a gun!" Brass asked shocked.

"Hank said he gave it him for protection" Sara murmured.

"Yeah In fact, Conrad said to me in his office yesterday, that I was a threat the Hank" Grissom remembered.

"What?" Brass and Sara said in unison.

Realizing he never told Sara this bit of information he squeezed he hand before continuing " I tried telling Ecklie, that Hank was a threat to Sara, and how he shouldn't have released Hank, but he was having none of it"

"Okay" Brass said writing it all downs in his little black notepad." What happened when Hank entered the bedroom?"

Grissom looked at Sara and realised she was still in shock from shooting Hank to say anything, so he continued "He was pointing the gun at me and Sara, while Sara had hers aimed at him, Hank was talking Sara how tough she was before…." Grissom stopped talking he didn't want to talk about how Hank hurt Sara.

"…Before he kicked 10 shits out of me, his exact words" Sara said a hint of courage and fear in her voice.

"Okay, then what happened" Brass continued.

"I tried to calm him down, but he got angrier, so Sara tried to get Hank to put the gun down, then they could talk, but Hank wasn't listening" Grissom sighed softly whilst squeezing Sara's hand again before continuing " that's when he said he came here to kill Sara, and he was about top pull the trigger before…before Sara shot him"

Sara whimpered whilst trying to hide the tears what was escaping.

_It sound horrifying coming from Gils mouth._

"Don't worry Sara, I know from what you have told me that this was a case of self defence, and I am sure the sheriff will understand as well" Brass smiled gently "ill have to phone this in, I wont be a minute" with that said Brass left the bedroom into the hallway.

"Honey, are you okay?" Grissom asked still in the same position as before.

"Im scared Gil" Sara whispered

"You heard Brass, its self defence, even the evidence will prove that"

"Gil, Im scared that I am turning into my mother" Sara turned her face away from Grissoms concerned blue orbs, causing her hair to fall in her face.

"Sweetheart, don't think like that," Grissom said gently, while tucking her hair behind her ear before caressing her cheek. "Your nothing like your mother"

" I am, I let a man abuse me because I was to damn scared" Sara sobbed "and now I killed him…it like history replaying itself"

_What am I suppose to say, she's so torn, I don't know if I can fix this, but I have to try, I love her to much to lose her._

"Ecklie and his team are on their way" Brass said coming back into the bedroom.

"Just a fair warning Ecklie is pissed"

"I don't care about Ecklie" Grissom spat, he could feel his anger building up, but he pushed it back down, he couldn't lose his temper in front of Sara.

"Brass is it okay if erm… I grab some erm..Clothes" Grissom asked after a few moments, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red.

Grissom was wearing long navy pyjama bottoms while Sara was only wearing one of Grissoms dark green shirts saying forensics on the front.

"Sure" Brass chuckled at Grissom being embarrassed about his naked torso.

"Tell us where you clothes are and ill past them to you, you don't want to contaminate the scene"

"My pants and shirt are on top of the hamper….

"My clothes are beside the hamper," Sara said feeling her face burning up after realizing what she was wearing.

"Alright, Sara you go into the bathroom first, then Gil can go in after you, then you can place the clothes you was wearing onto the bed so they don't get any cross-contamination"

"Thanks Brass" Sara muttered taking her clothes from Brass and entering the bathroom.

2 minutes later Sara had reappeared in the bedroom and placed the forensics shirt on the bed. Grissom did the same, just in time to hear his name being yelled from his front door.

"GRISSOM!"

"Ecklie" Sara, Brass and Grissom murmured in union.

"What the hell have you done!" Ecklie screamed entering the bedroom and seeing his Hanks lifeless body on the floor.

"Ecklie, if this case is personal for you, I would advice you not to get involved" Brass said holding his hands up to calm an angry Ecklie down.

"No its not personal, you son of a bitch Gil! Am going to nail you for this!"

"Exactly what are you going to nail me for Conrad!" Grissom snapped "I should be getting you arrested for supplying Hank with a gun!, if you didn't give him the gun we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"Gil calm down" Brass said calmly standing in-between Grissom and Ecklie "come on I'll take you and Sara to the station"

"Fine Brass, this isn't over!" Grissom scolded giving Ecklie a cold stare, and with that Grissom and Sara left the room with Brass in tow.

"Son of a bitch" Ecklie murmured before going over to see his now deceased friend.

TBC

A/N sooooo... you like it?

Let me know in a review, all reviews even critisicm is welcome, I like to hear what the readers think of my writing.

Hopefully i will post chapter 13 tommorrow if not itl wil be Monday.

Thanks again! :)


	13. Police station

A/N...Thankyou so much for reviews :D

Thanks to Louise(CSIjunkie 1 1) for all her help :D

Read and Review :D xx

**I want to be loved**

**Chapter 13**

**Police station**

"Gil, Sara!" Catherine came running down the hall after seeing Sara and Grissom enter the building.

"I am so glad your okay" Catherine said in relive whilst pulling them in a tight hug.

"Er.Catherine, your cutting of my air supply here" Grissom smirked.

"Sorry" Catherine smiled gently after releasing them and smoothing her jacket." I heard on the there was a DB at your apartment!"

_Sara looks pale, and she can't keep eye contact with me, she looks like death warmed up._

"Its okay Catherine, we are both okay" Sara's voice broke through Catherine's thoughts.

"Come on guys, the quicker we do this, the faster it'll be over and done with." Brass said heading down to one of the interview rooms and waited for Sara and Grissom to enter before shutting the door and taking a seat.

_I can feel Sara shaking next to me, Is she that scared? I don't know how I am supposed to fix this, but I am going to try. _Grissom thought taking a seat next to Sara and taking hold of her hand.

_Thank god he is here with me, just having him hold my hand gives me courage I just want this whole incident behind us._

"I know you have already told me what happened" Brass's voice broke through Grissom and Saras thoughts.

"But I need to record it, Warrick will be in here shortly to process you"

" I thought nightshift couldn't be involved in this case?" Grissom questioned.

"Dayshift is short staffed so they have asked Warrick in to the investigation"

Brass stated before putting a tape recorder in the middle of the table and clicking the record button.

"Okay could you tell me what happened on Thursday 15th May 2008" Brass said in his professional tone.

Before Grissom could speak Sara spoke "I woke up to hear noises in Gi.Grissoms apartment" she started giving Grissoms hand a squeeze to say she can do this.

"I woke up Grissom and told him I though someone was in the apartment, that's when he told me to grab my gun which was beside the bed, when I grabbed my gun Hank busted through the bedroom door…" Sara tried holding back the tears "he was saying how he got his gun, I tried to calm him down but he wasn't haven't none of it, when Griss tried to calm him down he got angrier" fresh tears was making their way down saras face when Grissom saw them he was dying to wipe them away but he knew he couldn't so he gave her hand a little squeeze and spoke for her

"He got angrier and started screaming and he said to Sara how tough she was before he hurt her, then shed be begging him to stop…."

_The horrific abuse Sara must have gone through, and she had no one to help her…_Grissom thought blinking away the tears in his eyes.

"That's when Hank had said he wanted to kill me," Sara muttered bringing Grissom out of his thoughts.

"He went to pull his trigger…" Sara whispered, "That's when I shot him."

"Sar its okay " Brass said sympathetically

(Knock knock)

"Come in" Brass raised his voice for Warrick to enter the interrogation room.

"Hey" Warrick smiled gently.

"Okay Warrick, get this done as fast as possible"

"Will do" Warrick placed his kit in the table and opened it. " Sara could you put your hands out, palms down"

Sara did as Warrick asked, her hands were shaking when she held them out, which didn't go unnoticed by any of the guys, they all gave he a sympathetic look while Grissom give her a concerned one.

After processing both Grissom and Sara Warrick spoke up "Don't worry guys, everything will sort itself out, am here for you, the whole team is."

"Thank you Warrick" Sara said softly with that said Warrick gave Sara and Grissom a small smile and left the room.

"I think you'll be able to go home shortly…."

"I want you to put these two in a cell!" Ecklie yelled entering the interrogation room, anger written all over his face.

"Conrad" Brass started " you can't just storm into here and demand to put Gil and Sara in a cell!"

"Yes I can" Ecklie snapped." they killed Hank in cold blood!"

"What the hell are you talking about!" Grissom yelled.

_Did I kill hank in cold blood? No he had his finger on the trigger and I knew he would have killed me with the look in his eyes._

"There were no bullets in the gun! And no evidence to suggest he broke into your apartment!"

"Maybe he figured out I had a spare key under the mat!" Grissom argued.

"Or maybe Sara lured him there to kill him!"

"SHE DID NOT!" Grissom rose of his chair in anger.

Sara didn't know what to do so she decided to block out this argument from her mind and just stare at the pastel colour walls.

"Gil, sit down please" Brass said calmly.

"Yeah Gilbert, you wouldn't want another charge under your belt now, would you" Ecklie snarled.

Grissom ignored Ecklies comment and sat back down.

"Brass, I want Gil and Sara put on a cell, the sheriff approves"

"What!" Sara, Brass and Grissom said in unison.

"You heard me, the sheriff has given me the go ahead, there's enough evidence to suggest Sara killed Hank in revenge, not self defence"

"What?" Sara mumbled.

"Its okay honey, we will sort this okay" Grissom whispered.

"I can't stay in a cell Gil" the fear could be heard in her voice,

"Am afraid you have to" Brass informed them after Ecklie left slamming the door on his way out.

"Jim, come on, surely there's something you can do" Gil exclaimed.

"The sheriff has approved Gil, im sorry" Brass sighed "but don't worry, me and the guys will sort this out, we are not gong to let you go to jail"

"Thanks Jim" Grissom said unsurely.

_Jail, oh no I didn't even think of that._

"You can try and get some sleep" Brass voice broke through her thoughts.

_Sleep ha, I doubt me nor Sara will sleep after what has happened, I don't want to leave Sara on her own, she's petrified._

Rising of his seat Brass opened the door, waiting for Grissom and Sara to follow him.

"No they wont be having handcuffs on" Brass said the officer who had entered the room, the officer looked at him in confusion.

"Let them have a little dignity left" and with that said Brass, Sara and Grissom left the interrogation room and headed down the hallway.

Grissom took hold of Sara hand and held it tight, he didn't care who saw them, and he wanted Sara to know he is always there for her, without saying anything.

_Does he realise we are in public? I know what he is trying to say I can see it in his eyes._

Sara smiled softly at him.

"Sara this officer will take you to your cell" Brass said bringing Grissom and Sara out of their trance.

Sara nodded. "Gil, ill show you your cell" Brass continued

"Sara, try and sleep okay" Grissom said softly and when Brass had his back turned to Grissom, grissom mimed "I love you"

"You too" Sara smiled before the other officer led her to her cell.

"Jim could you keep an eye on Sara for me please"

"Ill try my best" he replied "heres you cell"

Grissom sat down on the hard bed and watched Brass shut the sliding door.

"Ill let the team know what's going on, I wish I could help you Gil, I really do"

"Its okay Jim"

"I have to go, get some sleep you look exhausted"

"Ill try Jim, ill see you soon" with that said Brass left Grissom with his thoughts.

I_ hope Sara is okay, God she looked so vulnerable and scared in the interrogation room_.

_Why is Ecklie doing this to us? Hank wouldn't have come to get revenge with a gun without any bullets would he?_

_And how did Hank get into my apartment?_

_It was all great yesterday, God that must have to be the best feeling in the world, falling asleep with the one person you love in your arms. _With this thought Grissom lie down and fell into a restless sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Why does Conrad have to do this to us! God why did he have to bring Gil into this?_

Sara was lying down on the hard bed staring at the ceiling while questions and thoughts played in her mind.

_Was Hanks gun useless? No Hank wouldn't have brought the gun if there weren't any bullets_.

_And how did he get into the house?_

_Could he have gotten the key?_

_Why did Grissom get involved, he shouldn't have been dragged into my mess._

_This is what my mother must feel like, having all the time in the world to think._

With that last thought Sara shut her eyes tightly to get rid of that last thought. _Her mother._

The last thought Sara had before falling into a light sleep, was falling asleep in Grissoms protective embrace.

TBC

A/N- soooooooo...what do you think?

Just incase you were wondering in this story Ecklie is dayshift supervisor, it may be confusing, but i wanted this in this story, so yeah XD

i know you cant get put in a cell for the evidence in this story, but thats it, its only a story and in my delusional world, anything can happen hehe XD

Please review :D it helps me write these stories :D

Chapter 14, i will post either tommorrow or tuesday at the latest :D

xxx


	14. I want to be loved

A/N- thankyou so much for all those who have reviewed this story if it wasnt for all of you i wouldnt have finished it. to show my appreciation i will name you,

CSIVHP11,CJS-DEPPendent, The butterfly mistress, LovingGSR,GSR4Ever2874,Coldtrain, GSR-CSI-FAN, jirrg, ishotsherlock, GSRluvr92, amy,Caro-GSR, walkerTRngr, stella taylor16, 34 bubbles, smile.even.if.its.raining, evidence of me, minniesnopittytattybell, ipodfannatic000, blacknailpolish2010, dreamscometrue16, vicky, CSIL luver, my2shadows, woody8330, SARA SIDLE GRISSOM 08, cklmtn, Sara abigail, Sarasidle123, Marina, kupcake118, Karen, MyKate, cri GSR, The smoose, M y sunshine 08, GSR4ever3, Kate 1408, Sara and Gabriella, Dana, Coldtoes, Chocolate fan, tia rat.

Thanks to Louise (CSI junkie 1 1) for all her help and ideas, if it wasnt for her i wouldnt have finished this story,THANKS!

Thankyou also to all the readers who have read this story i hope you have enjoyed it Xx D

**I want to be loved**

**Chapter 14**

"Grissom!"

Grissom jolted up from sleep to see a slightly amused Warrick.

"Is Sara okay?" Grissom asked the first thought that entered his head.

"She's fine, she's asleep"

"Thank God" Grissom whispered before he fully woke up. "What you doing here?"

"An officer…officer Jackson" Warrick said looking down at the brown file he had in his hand "reports seeing Conrad Ecklie tampering with the crime scene"

"What?" Grissom asked in surprise.

"Jackson told Jim Brass, he sae Ecklie emptying the gun of its bullets at the crime scene, and also says Ecklie told everyone at the scene he had processed the front door for any break in evidence, when Jackson was sure Ecklie never left the bedroom"

"Son of a bitch, he framed us"

"Yep, me and Catherine are going over to your place, to process the door and see if Ecklie deposited of the bullets there"

"Thank you Warrick" Grissom yawned.

"Its okay Griss, you go back to sleep" Warrick chuckled "you'll be out of her in no time" with that said Warrick left Grissom to lay back down and fall into a restful sleep. Grissom was sure his team would catch Ecklie.

X--x

"Cath, I have signs of a break in," Warrick said talking photos of the busted lock on Grissoms front door.

"Warrick, how come we never noticed that Sara was being abused?" Catherine asked, this question has been playing on her mind since the team found out.

"She's a quiet girl, she hides her problems pretty well," Warrick said in a soft tone.

"And we call ourselves investigators" Catherine sighed whilst looking through a trashcan in Gil's kitchen.

"Look what I found!" Catherine showed the 6 bullets she had found in the trashcan to Warrick.

"Conrad must have dumped them there, knowing we wouldn't search in the kitchen"Warrick said finishing off processing the door.

Putting the bullets in an evidence bag, Catherine spoke "we got him Rick, we can arrest him on withholding evidence, and Gil and Sara will be off the hook!"

(Ring ring)

Warrick flipped his phone up.

"Brown"

"Hey Warrick, the gun you found at your crime scene, is registered to Conrad Ecklie"

"Thanks Bobby"

Warrick shit his phone and turned to Catherine with a big grin on his face.

"What?" Catherine smirked.

"The gun Hank had, guess who it is registered to?"

"Conrad Ecklie!"

"Yep"

"Ill phone Jim, while you finish off here" Catherine said exiting Gils apartment into the corridor.

Warrick finished packing his kit away just in time for Catherine to reappear in the doorway.

"Jim is going to release Sara and Gil, then bring Ecklie in for questioning"

"That's great come on, lets go greet Sara and Griss" with that said Warrick and Catherine left the townhouse and headed for the lab where they'd log the evidence in and go to the police station to greet there two friends.

X--x

"Sara, wake up" Brass raised his voice to a sleeping beauty.

Sara still didn't move.

"Sara!" Brass yelled

"Huh what?" Sara jumped up in shock and gave Brass a shy smile.

"Well good morning to you too, sleepy head" Brass chuckled.

"What time is it?" Sara asked whilst stretching.

"10.30 come on ill book you out"

"What?" Sara asked surprised.

"Your free to go" Brass grinned.

"What? How?"

"Gil can explain later" Brass said opening the sliding door and leading Sara out to the front desk.

"Grissom!" Sara yelled before running up to him and wrapping her arms around him so tight they both could hardly breath.

"Honey, are you okay?" Grissom whispered into Sara's hair.

"I am now" Sara smiled into Grissom chest.

"Guys there's time for that later" Brass winked heading to the front desk with Grissom and Sara in tow.

"Sara, Griss" Catherine screamed, whilst walking toward them with Warrick, Nick and Greg in tow.

"Hey" Sara smiled accepting all hugs of the team whilst Grissom was still getting booked out at the front desk.

"So where are you both off to?" Nick asked Grissom, when he appeared at Sara's side.

"Oh…erm…" Grissom looked over at Sara for an answer, but she only shrugged.

"Well as you are clearly not doing anything, how about joining us for breakfast at the new diner of the strip?"

"Sure" Grissom smiled.

"Let me get a shower and get cleaned up, and ill meet you in the break room in 20 minutes" Sara said glad that she can get cleaned up.

"Alright we'll see you then" Grissom winked, and followed Nick Catherine, Greg and Warrick into the break room.

X--x

20 minutes later Sara was walking down the corridor in the lab with a skip in her step.

She had, had a shower and was glad she found a set of spare clothes in her locker.

Before walking into the break room she heard the team talking which caused her to pause and listen.

Nick: "How do you think Sara is holding up Grissom?"

Grissom: "I think she's okay, I know these past few months have been so hard for her, but now she's safe, so she can put all this behind her."

Warrick: "Yeah and we will all be here for her no matter what!"

Greg/Nick/Catherine, "Yeah!"

Sara guessed this was her time to enter.

"Talking about me?" Sara smiled letting them know she heard everything.

"We was only saying that we are all her for you if you ever need to talk, or just for a shoulder to cry on" Nick said softly.

"Thank you, all of you, for everything" Sara smiled taking a seat next to Grissom on the break room couch.

"That's what friends are for" Greg winked.

After a few minutes of silence, Warrick spoke up "Im starving, come on let's go"

Everyone all agreed with Warrick and rose from their seats.

"Who's going in whose car?" Nick asked realising Sara and Grissom didn't have their SUV's.

"Catherine and Greg can come with me, and Sara and Grissom can go with you Nicky" Warrick said with a small smile.

"Okay, lets go, im going to waste away" Greg whined

All the team laughed at Gregs remark before heading to their cars.

"Nick, we'll meet you at the car in 5 minutes" Grissom spoke glancing at Sara and noticed her slightly confused look.

"Okay boss" Nick left the break room leaving a Sara and Grissom alone.

"You okay Gil?" Sara questioned.

"Am great" Grissom smiled softly "i was just wondering, if you wanted to tell the team about us?"

_So its offical, i am so happy right now, i know the team would keep it amongst themselves. they have helped us so much, they dont deserve to be kept in the dark._

"Sure" Sara smiled.

Grining widley at her, Grissom placed his hand at the small of her back and led her to Nicks car.

"Hey guys, you ready?" Nick asked when Sara and Grissom got in the back seats.

"Yep" Sara grinned.

_I cant wait to tell the guys, they face expressions will be priceless. _Grissom thought.

x--x

The drive to the dinar was relitivly quite. Sara and Grissom kept sneaking glances at each other and smiling.

--

Exiting the car and entering the diner, they saw the rest of the team sitting at a round table, near the entrance. Catherine was sat in between Warrick and Greg.

"Did you get lost Nicky?" Catherine asked whilst Nick took the seat next to Greg, Grissom took the seat next to Nick, leaving Sara to be seated in between Warrick and Grissom.

"I was waiting on these two"Nick smirked.

"Okay are you all ready to order?" Catherine asked after 10 minutes of small talk.

All the team happily placed their orders when Grissoms phone started to ring.

"Grissom"

"Hey Gil"

"Hey Jim"

"We got him!"

"Who Conrad?"

When the whole team heard Ecklies name, they all stopped their conversations and listend to Grissoms.

"Yeah, he confessed, so you can relax"

"Thankyou Jim"

"No problem, see you soon"

Grissom flipped his phone shut and saw all the guys waiting for him to speak.

Realizing no one was speaking Sara spoke up "Come on, spill!"

Chuckling at Saras eager expression Grissom spoke up "We've got Ecklie, he confgessed" the whole team cheered loudly, getting a few odd looks from the customers in the process.

"Okay guys, heres the food" Grissom said, seeing the waiter bringing their food over.

Whilst eating Grissom had to laugh atr tthe conversations being held by his subordinates. Sara, Warrick and Catherine was talking about all the crazy things they did at college, and from what he heard Catherine was very popular,  
Warrick was lucky with the girls, whilst Sara didnt socialise as much.

Nick and Greg was talkiing about the latest game on PS2, from what Nick was saying the game was full of blood and gore.

The conversations was still going on way after they all finished their meals.

Grissom leaned over to Sara and whispered "Are you ready?"

Sara grinned widley in reply.

"Guys" Grissom said loudly waiting till he had everyones attention before cvontinuing, "Firstly i would like to say thankyou, all of you for you help, me and Sara cant thank you enough, second because you all are like family to me and Sara, and we know you will keep it in the team, i am happy to say..." Grissom paused and took hold of Saras hand before continuing" Me and Sara are in love!"

"Way to go bugman!" Catherine grinned" Finally got your head up from the microscope"

Warrick and Nick had shock expressions on their face before grinning widley "Good luck guys!"

Noticing Greg was still looking shocked and not yet had said anything Sara asked "Greggo, are you with us?"

"But...how...why.." Greg stuttered.

"Aw poor Greggo's upset" Nick laughed, causing the everyone to join in.

After the laighter had died down, and conversations had been started, Grissom leaned over and whispoered in Saras ear, "I love you, more than i can ever say, i never want to lose you, and anything you want i will give it to you"

Sara leaned in and gave Grissom a kiss which held passion and love. All the team wolf whistled while Greg muttered "Get a room"

Breaking the kiss after the need for air was to much Sara smiled her 100 watt smile before whispering "aAll i ever wanted was to be loved."

THE END.

A/N2- You like the ending?

You think they should be a sequal?? let me know in a review xx

Thanks again for reading :D


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